Monday, April 06, 2015

A Mother's Unconditional Love For Her Gay Son.

I am very thankful for the physical relationship I had with my mother. We had an incredibly strong bound and shared so much love, gratitude, heart, admiration, tenderness and openness. She was literally my very best friend, and in every sense I was or am a mamma's boy. I shared every important personal detail with her and nothing was left unsaid. I ran to her for everything and there she would be, always ready with arms wide open. It wasn't a perfect journey but we managed to get to this special place where all was well with us and we could gently smile or laugh about each others inadequacies, as if they were new. My mother always supported me and loved me unconditionally and in return I tried to be a great son, she deserved that. I am so thankful to god for that. If we were in a disagreement or I did something wrong I would not wait more than an hour to figure out how to make it better or apologize, and what I figured out was that my mother usually automatically had already forgiven me or let things go and was just observing how I handled things. 

We both cherished our relationship and spent time feeding it, loving it and nurturing it. We wholeheartedly enjoyed hanging out together and If we weren't hanging out with each other my mother was still there supporting. At my recent 35th birthday party where she cooked all the food and I was busy socializing and being a mess, she was making sure my cake was ready, cleaning up so I wouldn't have to and stayed with me till 5am, (normally her bedtime was around 10pm) she wasn't there partying or drinking but simply just there watching me and seeing me happy made her happy. Its the same love from when I went to my first house jam on my own at 13 years old. While I was carelessly and freely dancing I glanced towards the far back of the room.. there she was... my mother silently watching me with joy and acceptance on her face (the only parent at the party) I wasn't embarrassed even at that age my mother completely allowed me to be myself. That was her way.. 

She never once judged me on my sexual orientation or identity but instead focused on my character and the way I treated myself and others . I could always be who I was without reservations in front of her. Even at 5 years old dancing with my sister and her group of friends to "material girl" by Madonna lol. No matter how old I was or who I was, I was still her boy. That's love. I learned to dearly love and respect not only the strong mother she was to me but the strong, compassionate woman she was to the world. I preferred her company and love over any other because she sincerely was a phenomenal and amazing human being. The and sensational . I am deeply grateful and appreciative to have had that, for when I look around and see so many who have never experienced even half of that amount of unconditional love, friendship and love..I hope while you still have the chance that you choose to cultivate and build boundlessly loving relationships... because its the only thing that matters and what will bring you solace when its all said and done.. My favorite compliment ever given to me was by someone who casually walked up to me and simply said "I can tell you are loved" .

This is just a mere grain of sand on an endless beach of memories and love of more and more love that only I and my sister can comprehend.. Limitless.. boundless..

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

10 Difficult Realities You’ll Continually Face Until You Learn How To Accept Them

1. You are not excluded from the human condition. You feel hopeless? You feel like you’re on the brink of tears every other hour? You hate who you were and you are afraid of who you won’t become? You’re experiencing a very real, very difficult part of what it means to be human. But thinking such suffering is abnormal and unavoidable is what will be most painful– resisting it, running from it. You can’t seamlessly execute your life with grace and charisma at all times, if ever really, and it’s in comparing whatever you are to that infallible ideal that you’ll hurt yourself the most.
2. The best people, the most beautiful people, the people who are best able to love completely, are the ones who have been wounded and scarred and have experienced the most. There is a certain understanding they bring to you, a certain fondness in identifying with what you’re experiencing and an appreciation for all the ways you’re unsure and unsettled with yourself. They have the kind of capacity to care that only comes from firsthand understanding. They will love you when you are together and they will love you when you are in pieces. Choosing not to love someone for their past experiences is a sad way to overlook someone who is already carved with more depth than others.
3. The most painfully effective way to know that you truly care about someone is to watch them walk out of your life, time and time again. And it’s important that this happens. What you take away from a relationship is often far more important than having had it. There is no better way to really dig into people and uproot what needs to go. And there are few times that you’ll be more desperately exacerbated for someone’s attention than right after that break up, and the way you respond to that often says a lot about the state of your being. Learning to see that objectively is difficult. But when you’re far enough away from it, it always seems to make sense.
4. There are many things that will torture you in your life. Continually allowing yourself be one of them is a truly unfortunate waste and a misuse of the time you do have to heal yourself and enjoy what’s left.
5. Love is not an incomprehensible mystery. It is universal and freeing and comes to us in a million different ways. It comes when we least expect it and when we most expect it. It comes from family and from ourselves and from friends and from doing things we love and from strangers and yes, from romantic partners. Not having one does not mean you don’t have any of the rest. You’ll spend a significant portion of your life in search of love in many different forms, and it’s only one day that you’ll realize you’re thirsty and swimming in the middle of an ocean. You either drink or keep suffering. You either start seeing the love that’s around you or it will never be enough.
6. Saying something is “hard” is ultimately a justification of just doing what’s easiest. Excuses rarely mean anything. Nothing worthwhile is easy. Saying you can’t because you’ve been through x, y and z is just another way to excuse yourself from the grind that is life. Nobody respects that. Nobody says “aw, poor thing, they didn’t pursue something because they suffered from their experiences.” No. People who are legendary that are the ones who kept going in the face of adversity. That’s what makes a story incredible. That’s the plot line of a daily life that means something. That’s what makes someone extraordinary. That element of suffering is crucial. You have to grow from it, not be defeated by it.
7. The best things often come disguised as the worst things. You have to let yourself be gutted by them. They’re making way for something far greater.
8. Ignoring your feelings will not make them go away. Suppressing your issues only amplifies them while you’re unconscious of it and silently rips away at your life.
9. The idea that any one person knows it all is false… yes, myself included. We can only ever speak to our own experiences, and from those, we can offer what we’ve learned to other people. But that doesn’t encompass all of the intricacies of that other person’s life. If you’re searching for answers you have to read a lot of different people’s work, understand what they’ve learned from their experiences, read theories and ideas and fiction and whatever else somehow calms a little part of you– and see how it applies to you. You cannot follow anybody else’s guidebook but you can, and should, take ideas from them whenever you can.
10. You cannot dilute the significance of your ability to choose by ideas of fate and universal guidance. You choose happiness. You choose love. You choose to settle and you choose to not. Not taking responsibility for your life leaves it in the hands of a reckless and seemingly uncertain universe. There are times to be complacent and then there are times to stand up and be a complete bad ass. There are times you have to demand respect and pursue your goals, no matter how small they are, with complete irreverence for the fact that you could fail. There are times you can be complacent and there are times you have to be accepting even if it nearly breaks your heart. Half the battle of life is figuring out when it’s time to do so.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Six Gay Questions About Me

1. When did you first become aware of your romantic/sexual feelings for members of your gender? 

I feel for me it’s a feeling that has always been inside
of me (my attraction to men ) when I finally had a sexual experience with
someone of my same gender I already knew it was what I wanted, what I was
attracted to, always. I think it’s the same as someone who identifies as
heterosexual. They have always just had a feeling for the opposite sex however
as they go through puberty those feelings become sexual and romantic naturally.
That’s how it felt for me; Natural! However do to social norms and family
expectations I resisted and didn’t accept my own sexual orientation because I
did not know of it being acceptable. I had never seen gay love ever in my life,
I wasn’t taught to be gay, I was raised to be straight. I knew who I was inside
and eventually to me I could not live a lie. I could not lie to my mother and
to those who love me. I could not lie to myself..

When did you identify yourself as a lesbian/gay man?

I knew I liked men but I did not know what words to use to describe myself at first. When you’re young I think you’re more interested in sex and love then actually confirming you’re
sexually identity with a title. It’s more the people around you that need the
confirmation and ask the questions. To be technical I identified myself as gay
at the age of 15. I identified myself as someone who was attracted to men
(physically, sexually) at the age of 12 . I remember being attracted to guys at
the age of 5

2. How out are you? How did you decide to come out (or not come out)?

For me my sexual orientation is just one small part
of who I am. I identify as a man, as Latino, as Dominican, As Cuban, as
American, as a Son, as a brother, as gay, etc…
Being out to me means being honest with those who asks, being
honest with my life. For me it doesn’t mean marching in the gay parade though
that’s totally ok and can be part of the coming out/pride process. Once again
it’s almost like asking how straight are you? Its something you are.. I decided
to come out because I needed support, acceptance, and freedom of myself and my
sexuality. I built up the strength by going to LGBT centers, talking to
mentors, and making friends that I could identify with. Coming out was a
process for me with the ultimate goal of getting my families approval
specifically my mom. It took years to fully educate my mother and gain her full
acceptance. Now she is really educated and aware of the things she’s says and
her actions and how they affect me. Even when she had a hard time with it she
still loved me unconditionally and that love really was the most important factor
for my development as a young person.

3. What do you think are commonly held misconceptions about gay men or lesbians?

That people just turn gay, that we have been molested or sexually
abused, that we cant be around children because we will influence their
sexuality, that sexual orientation is a choice. Sexual orientation is not a
choice. You can not choose or control your natural feelings to who you’re
attracted to. If you find someone hot or you see someone you’re attracted too
that’s something that just comes out naturally. Sexual behavior is what you to
decide to do.

4. How did your family (if
they know) react to the news of your sexual orientation?

It was a process, many different feelings came up. Grieving,
anger, judgment, fear, blame. My family did not coldly reject me but they were
very ignorant about everything. It’s like they wanted to accept me but they
really had to relearn some things that they were taught also have an open mind
and allow me to go through my process. The more they didn’t understand the more
I pushed. My mom also held her self responsible and had a lot of guilt, she
thought she had did something wrong as a parent. So as a family we all had to
accept and let go, it took time and is a work in progress. Lucky for me now my
sexuality is not even a factor in my family anymore, they love me, accept me,
are proud of me, accept my relationships and friends, its in a no way an issue
in my life. Despite how open they are now I still have my limits like I wouldn’t
make out with my boyfriend in front of my mom, things like that. I just show my
family consideration and respect. I wanted them to just accept me and deal with
it but I realized it’s a process for them too and they are dealing with it too.

5. What has been the most difficult thing about being gay/lesbian?

The homophobia and ignorance that exist, kids still being killed,
the violence, kids being homeless cause the rejection, the over all rejection,
the verbal abuse, dealing with the whole religious issues and the damage that
has on the spirit

6. What do social workers need to know in order to be most helpful to lesbians and gay

Social workers need to know and be informed on the sexuality model.
They also need to know how to meet clients where they are at and not impose
their own beliefs. Keep in mind beliefs are not facts and to have an open mind.
Social workers need to know that the LGBT community face a lot of issues and
their support and services are highly imperative

Saturday, February 02, 2008

One On One With Rojelio Parra-Grady

As I promised RRR readers. The one on one exclusive interview with sexy Cuban model Rojelio Parra-Grady Spotlight interview....

Raul - Lets get straight to it...How and why did you first get into modeling?

Rojelio - An ex-girlfriend got me involved in modeling...she tipped me off about a fashion show that I later got casted for and from there I met with people, made connections, and the rest is history....
I started modeling because its something that always interested me, seeing certain ads inspired me to follow the "path of modeling"

Raul - Were you born in Cuba?

Rojelio - No, my family was....I was born and raised in Detroit MI

Raul - Honestly how would you rate yourself on a scale from one to five?

Rojelio - 6!!!! I'm not conceited just confident...please don't mistake the two because if I don't give myself credit then who will?! lol

Raul - I v heard that your right confidence comes from self, we have to feel good about ourselves regardless of other's opinions. Confidence is attractive.. Are you dating anyone?

Rojelio - No, I am currently single. I think its best until I get my career rolling in NYC

Raul - How doe's a good looking confident guy like you stay single??

Rojelio - You cant please another unless you are satisfied and happy yourself....and until my career has taken off I wont be able to give 110 percent into anything. I'm just too focused at the moment.

Raul - OK, If you could sleep with any celebrity who would it be and why?

Rojelio - Eva Mendez, shes hott and shes Cuban!!!!!!

Raul - I love Eva Mendez..she's beautiful.. I have this great nude photo of her.. You would love. Speaking on nudity Have you ever posed nude?

Rojelio - Yes, just once....I am very confident in my body....although I must say that I wouldn't want to make a living doing that.

Raul - Was that your most uncomfortable modeling moment?

Rojelio - Surprisingly it wasn't.

Raul - I always imagine that having all these hot bodies on these photo shots can turn someone on. Have you ever had an erection on the set?

Rojelio - Cant say that I have, sorry. I try to be as professional as possible lol

Raul - Is that something that usually happens for male models?

Rojelio - I haven't heard too many stories about that happening but I'm sure there are a few floating around lol

Raul - you just killed a fantasy! lol moving on Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton?

Rojelio - Either will do, actually anyone other than Bush!!!! Naw but it really doesn't matter...I'm torn between the two.

Raul - What's your favorite feature on yourself?

Rojelio - HHhmmmmm Im not too sure, I think I have a good face and smile so I'd have to go with them

Raul - What do you consider sexy?

Rojelio - "Sexy" doesnt have to be 100 percent nudity in my opinion...a lil flesh can be nice but I think a splash of mystery with some nice curves can come off as appealing.....

Raul - What do you love about being Latino?

Rojelio - Our culture!!!! Our women!!!! Our food!!!! Our heritage!!!! We're number one!!!

Raul - Thank you for taking the time to do this interview
Any last words of advice for aspiring future models?

Rojelio - Sure, modeling is and can be very "cut-throat" and demanding...and if you're looking to enter this industry then be prepared to sacrifice certain things to get where you want to be (Im not on top yet but I feel as though Im on the right path to getting there) stay positive, be realistic in your abilities, network with others in the industry, and have faith in God. He has a plan for us all.

"Walk by faith, not by in God despite your situation or the way things look" ~Mathew 14:25

"Trust, believe, and have faith"

Raul - I love that. I think that can work for all of us. Once again thank you... and we will be keeping track of you and following your career. This is just the beginning!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Yes We Can!

Latino Male Model SpotLight

Ladies and gentlemen I give you Rojelio Parra-Grady. This Cuban model intrigues us all with his killer boy next door looks and striking hot body. Stay tuned for an upcoming exclusive interview.

Papi Chulo & Dominican male model Deilin Sanz is the hottest new boy on the block. This New York City native has been sizzling the Latino community and working hard towrds a promising future in fashion. Check out his pics and see why Deilin deserves the spot light!!

Screen Actors Guild Fashion Review

The purple works for her. I like the dress and I like the fabric but the make up is a bit much. Who’s the tramp next to her?

That heavy beaded green neck line is a red carpet disaster. The hair is so late 90's and the color of the dress is just not working for her skin. SORRY I have to chop her. HIYAH!!

If this was the Vibe Awards it would work.

America Ferrera made everyone take notice...Beautiful and elegant.. She just keeps getting better and better.

I Love most of this dress.

A beautiful man...but you have to admit he would make a beautiful woman..

Oh Dear...Recycled 80’s prom dress?? Get in to how she is looking at the camera like bitch don’t try it!! How can we not say something about that bow.

Michelle Pfeiffer is over 50 and can easily stand next to any Hollywood young beauty in their 20’s and give them a battle. Here she’s looking simple and stunning.

The it couple looking rejuvenated. Angelina’s face is glowing and her body looks healthy again, but Is she hiding a pregnancy under all that fabric? Hmmmm is it me or does our boy Brad look a little bit like a sexy lesbian? I don’t know.. If you look real fast it looks like Angelina and Ellen.