The First Time Ever I Saw Whitney Houston

I have two distinct moments that I would say were transcending moments. It was 1988 and I was barley 8 years old, someone had left MTV on and I had never seen anyone on television that looked even remotely close to anyone I knew and certainly not in a positive light. I was jumping care free on my mothers big coaches and I remember a catchy tune playing in the back ground, the tune finally stopped me in my tracks (how will i know if he really loves me) WHO is that!! i thought..... There in that moment I knew I had never seen anything like that. I remember my brain was at work trying to understand what I was watching. I saw something familiar yet extravagant. I had never seen a woman, beautiful, graceful, talented and browned skin on television that caught my attention. She looked like someone I could know. I knew it was special, the video was vibrant, colorful and enchanting to me. I watched it and did not move till the video was over. I can say the sound, tune of her voice and song made me stop but it was her that made me stay. The video reflected in my eyes and I absorbed every image.

Another moment followed a few months later in 1988 when I was with my sister Jasmine (who at the time was 11) at my neighbors house Elizabeth. Elizabeth was a 12 year old dark skin Dominican girl with two pig tails. i was looking out the window of her second floor mothers apartment over looking the New York Hudson river dying to go home, restless, board. in my nothingness I hear this voice.. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.. I remember lifting my head like a surprised dog and seeing the silhouette of my sister and Elizabeth in front of the television blocking my view. I walk towards the music telling me to love my self and my eyes reach the screen and there I see a very young girl on television (greatest love of all video) with two pig tails. i looked at Elizabeth in curiosity and i looked back at the video. In the video the young brown girl also had two pig tails and she grows up to be a famous Singer Whitney Houston in the the video. it was the First time my mind connected success, talent, and beauty with someone that looked like my sisters friend Elizabeth, basically someone of color. I knew it was real because I knew Whitney Houston was real unlike the Cosby's. That was truly the moment I started to believe anything in life was possible.

I knew I wasnt white and before these two moments the only real image's I had of colored people were the crack heads on my corner and my absent father who was consistently in and out of jail. (sighs)

Thank you Whitney for showing me...

http://youtu.be/IYzlVDlE72w

Six Gay Questions About Me

1. When did you first become aware of your romantic/sexual feelings for members of your gender?

I feel for me it’s a feeling that has always been inside
of me (my attraction to men ) when I finally had a sexual experience with
someone of my same gender I already knew it was what I wanted, what I was
attracted to, always. I think it’s the same as someone who identifies as
heterosexual. They have always just had a feeling for the opposite sex however
as they go through puberty those feelings become sexual and romantic naturally.
That’s how it felt for me; Natural! However do to social norms and family
expectations I resisted and didn’t accept my own sexual orientation because I
did not know of it being acceptable. I had never seen gay love ever in my life,
I wasn’t taught to be gay, I was raised to be straight. I knew who I was inside
and eventually to me I could not live a lie. I could not lie to my mother and
to those who love me. I could not lie to myself..

When did you identify yourself as a lesbian/gay man?

I knew I liked men but I did not know what words to use to describe myself at first. When you’re young I think you’re more interested in sex and love then actually confirming you’re
sexually identity with a title. It’s more the people around you that need the
confirmation and ask the questions. To be technical I identified myself as gay
at the age of 15. I identified myself as someone who was attracted to men
(physically, sexually) at the age of 12 . I remember being attracted to guys at
the age of 5

2. How out are you? How did you decide to come out (or not come out)?

For me my sexual orientation is just one small part
of who I am. I identify as a man, as Latino, as Dominican, As Cuban, as
American, as a Son, as a brother, as gay, etc…
Being out to me means being honest with those who asks, being
honest with my life. For me it doesn’t mean marching in the gay parade though
that’s totally ok and can be part of the coming out/pride process. Once again
it’s almost like asking how straight are you? Its something you are.. I decided
to come out because I needed support, acceptance, and freedom of myself and my
sexuality. I built up the strength by going to LGBT centers, talking to
mentors, and making friends that I could identify with. Coming out was a
process for me with the ultimate goal of getting my families approval
specifically my mom. It took years to fully educate my mother and gain her full
acceptance. Now she is really educated and aware of the things she’s says and
her actions and how they affect me. Even when she had a hard time with it she
still loved me unconditionally and that love really was the most important factor
for my development as a young person.

3. What do you think are commonly held misconceptions about gay men or lesbians?

That people just turn gay, that we have been molested or sexually
abused, that we cant be around children because we will influence their
sexuality, that sexual orientation is a choice. Sexual orientation is not a
choice. You can not choose or control your natural feelings to who you’re
attracted to. If you find someone hot or you see someone you’re attracted too
that’s something that just comes out naturally. Sexual behavior is what you to
decide to do.

4. How did your family (if
they know) react to the news of your sexual orientation?

It was a process, many different feelings came up. Grieving,
anger, judgment, fear, blame. My family did not coldly reject me but they were
very ignorant about everything. It’s like they wanted to accept me but they
really had to relearn some things that they were taught also have an open mind
and allow me to go through my process. The more they didn’t understand the more
I pushed. My mom also held her self responsible and had a lot of guilt, she
thought she had did something wrong as a parent. So as a family we all had to
accept and let go, it took time and is a work in progress. Lucky for me now my
sexuality is not even a factor in my family anymore, they love me, accept me,
are proud of me, accept my relationships and friends, its in a no way an issue
in my life. Despite how open they are now I still have my limits like I wouldn’t
make out with my boyfriend in front of my mom, things like that. I just show my
family consideration and respect. I wanted them to just accept me and deal with
it but I realized it’s a process for them too and they are dealing with it too.

5. What has been the most difficult thing about being gay/lesbian?

The homophobia and ignorance that exist, kids still being killed,
the violence, kids being homeless cause the rejection, the over all rejection,
the verbal abuse, dealing with the whole religious issues and the damage that
has on the spirit

6. What do social workers need to know in order to be most helpful to lesbians and gay
men?

Social workers need to know and be informed on the sexuality model.
They also need to know how to meet clients where they are at and not impose
their own beliefs. Keep in mind beliefs are not facts and to have an open mind.
Social workers need to know that the LGBT community face a lot of issues and
their support and services are highly imperative

(HD) Mariah Carey - Oh Holy Night (Live ABC Christmas Special 2010)

The Very Tip Of Manhattan..

Reflecting On Michael Jackson's Memorial

I think most of us were sincerely touched by Michael Jackson's memorial today. I have not seen the world respond to a death like this since the passing of Princess Diana. The service in all was beautiful and I was happy to see MJ's lovely children faces. The Jackson's actually looked like a real family which helped me view them as real people as well as seeing the children reminded us all that Michael was not only an Icon but also a father. I always loved Michael so I loved hearing his heart felt praises.

Now lets recap on the service...

Mariah!!! So ok I was expecting more performances from Icons like Aretha Franklin, Patti Labelle, & Diana Ross with that said I had high expectations that Mariah would sound great however Obama's inauguration ball.... she sounded okay with only a few moments, I appreciated her emotion that was clearly present in her performance as well as the ending of the song.



Brooke Shields gave a beautiful speech as well as many others...

Usher was amazing....



Stevie Wonder gave a heart felt performance..



Now Here is Paris.. Shame on all you bloggers saying she is fake and that she was coached to say something kind about her own father. She's 11 years old.. lets not do to what was once done to Michael to his children. The power of words are very strong..

Heres the clips that made me cry at work... I am still in that zone...



Another sad moment is when they carried his casket out with man in the mirror playing in the background...

Blacket is so cute he looked as if he lost his best friend, and has no one to play with...

Remembering Michael jackson

Model Marcus Patrick

THE QUEENS ON THE TUBE

GET INTO THE PRINCESS LIL PITO








It's B. Scott's Time







Chris Crocker

BOYZ ON THE TUBE

Mariah Carey's New Single.

Everyone knows I am a big Mariah fan so you know I v been anticipating her new up and coming single Touch My Body. Well it's finally here! I am excited Mariah is coming back but I must admit I am not crazy about this first single. In Mimi's defense I wasn't crazy over her first single from the Emancipation of Mimi either 'It's Like That" but that ended up growing on me and it was a good fit for the album.

For female artist its definitely a time to come out strong. Rihanna gave us Umbrella, Alicia Keys with No One, Amy Winehouse Rehab. The bar this year has been raised and with new comer Leona Lewis on the rise I would of expected something a little bigger and better from Mariah as a first single.

I have total faith that Mariah's album is going to be excellent and like always Mariah has a few tricks up her sleves, I am sure. The first trick we have to figure out is calling the album E=MC2. Yes I said E=MC 2!! I know, I know, Mariah is so crazy with these album titles but hey in this day and age its refreshing to know that her music and albums really are a reflection of her and her work. Her Creation.... Well guys take a listen to Mariahs brand new single its smooth and sexy and its called Touch My Body!!!


TOUCH MY BODY
(Mariah Carey - C. Tricky Stewart - Terius "The-Dream" Nash)

MC, you're the place to be
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

I know that you've been waiting for it
I'm waiting too
In my imagination I'd be all up on you
I know you got that fever for me
Hundred and two
And boy I know I feel the same
My temperature's through the roof

If there's a camera up in here
Then it's gonna leave with me
When I do (I do)
If there's a camera up in here
Then I'd best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
'Cause if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby I'm up in my bidness
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I

Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you love my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.

Boy you can put me on you
Like a brand new white tee
I'll hug your body tighter
Than my favorite jeans
I want you to caress me
Like a tropical breeze
And float away with you
In the Caribbean Sea

If there's a camera up in here
Then it's gonna leave with me
When I do (I do)
If there's a camera up in here
Then I'd best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
'Cause if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby I'm up in my bidness
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I

Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you love my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.

Imma treat you like a teddy bear
You won't wanna go nowhere
In the lap of luxury
Baby just turn to me
You won't want for nothing boy
I will give you plenty
Touch my body

Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you love my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.

Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah
Oh yeah oh yeah
Oh oh oh oh yeah